To Hell With Love?

I know that it has been exactly a month since I updated this thing, and I do apologize. I suppose I was waiting for something to particularly incense me, and that something happened today.

I was skimming Dawn Eden's blog (because we all know I am borderline obsessed with her) and saw a small reference to a recent Washington Post Article (aptly published on February 14th) called "Love's Labor's Lost."

This article details the hesitancy of women to "fall in love" or "pursue romance" in favor of what Lloyd Kolbe, a health education professor at Indiana University-Bloomington, says is the "purposely uncaring" nature of hooking up.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Yes Mr. Kolbe, women WANT to shrug off the intimacy and caring nature of a relationship for one night stands. We LIKE feeling like we have to be pawns in a huge game with horrible odds of winning.

Instead, I would challenge you to think about the hypocrisy of today's 20 something culture. Of course the women interviewed in this article are afraid to fall in love.

Let's look at both sides of the spectrum. First, we have the Dawn Eden supporters. The women who truly want to be chaste. Believe me, that conversation with Mr. "Sex is one of the key factors in determining relationship compatibility" is incredibly awkward and almost always assures that you won't be getting a phone call for a second date. *News flash* today's culture requires the hookup before the THOUGHT of a relationship. Personal example: I recently asked my friends their opinion on when the appropriate time is to ask where a dating relationship is going. What is consensus of the world? "A hook-up, quasi relationship status must last a MONTH before the topic can be broached. Anything less would be smothering... just have fun hooking up and if it progresses further, great." And you wonder why women are afraid of love. They have to give all of themselves before they can even be considered a candidate for the program.

Ok, so you're not subscribing to the chastity mantra. Perhaps you are fine with the idea of casual sex. That doesn't mean that you cannot see a time and place for a romantic relationship as well. The "sexual freedom" mantra of radical 70's feminism has made it nearly impossible for women to be sexual creatures and still want more. It's an all or nothing world. You are either going to have sex like a man with no ties, deriving power and confidence from your exploits or you are being used and abused. There is no happy medium.

I just cannot believe this article would imply that it is solely women's hesitancy to fall in love that is causing us to not know how to have relationships, to not know how to develop the fundamental pillars of caring for other people. No, it is the virgin/slut dichotomy that we are faced with everyday. It is the death of chivalry and the degradation of EXPECTED masculine respect for women.

It's not LOVE that confuses us. It's everything else surrounding love that tortures us. It is like love is at the center of a labrynth and we are all stuck at different dead ends with no map in sight.